E-mail to a Specialized Epic from a Stumpjumper:
How are you? Bet it has been a better day in SS (soft south). If you were lucky you probably had a pleasant ride on dry chalk, but there again you probably are still in the van as all you do is travel around, bit like the Duke of Edinburgh really!
That brings me to my reason for contacting you. As my union rep, please read the following and see if I have a case for abuse.
Today we were due to met up with Ron and maybe others and do the Ardgartan peninsula. You might remember that I really enjoyed this last time and even sent you a photo. I was put into the car last night and I had a dreadful night. Rain, drizzle and more rain. This morning I begged HER to call Ron and call it off. It feel on deaf ears (but she is getting older) so we drove up to Arrochar in the rain and she went into the coffee shop.
Nae luck, when she came out we drove round to Ardgartan, along with Ken & Moira. Off we set in the drizzle. It was not too bad to start with as we were on road but then we got the Events car park and the dirt road. The car park was packed (some vehicles said MCS on the side and I got a bit worried).The dirt road was soft and muddy. You should have seen the state I was soon in. Totally clarty! (But so was she so I didn’t feel so bad). Then we found out what it was about - the Argyll Forest Challenge where they have a 4 wheel drive course through the forest. We could hear shouts and winches working. At the Corran Lochan we had a chat with the organiser and discovered that they were not around the single track to Lochgoilhead.
Well, maybe I would get the chance to clean up, or not. You guessed, the or not won! The single track was a bit softer and slippy in places. I was regretting my slick shoes (they were quite new, but not any more). Then I noticed that Ron had the same shoes and you should see the state of his - the back one is nearly bald and has a big hack out of the side wall!
The single track was actually OK and she managed to cycle more of it this time. Moira was slower and managed less. I was able to show her how to go downhill though and she felt a lot more confident after that.
Just before Lochgoilhead Moira left us and I was with the lads. She insisted on something to eat before the climb up the Rest and then we were off in the drizzle (it had not really stopped all day). This track was soft and really sucky and so granny gear was employed.
I was then made to cycle 5km and climb 300m and I did not get a rest. Each of the boys had 2 rests, Ron saying that his calf muscles were cramping and Ken actually walked for a bit. I was just made to keep going.
Then mainly downhill and more mud added to the collection before arriving back at the car 32.5km, no idea of climb but lots of it, 3hr 30min cycling and 5 hours away altogether.
Then the indignity really began. I was hosed down and placed in the back of the car. I really did not feel clean. SHE muttered something about shopping but my response was going to be ‘On yer bike’ but I changed it after some thought to ‘You must be joking’. The message got through and we came home.
I had yet more indignity - a proper hose down, wipe with a not too clean rag and then my chain had the treatment.
What do you think Epic? Can I put in a claim for getting so dirty and then being washed down twice in public? You really need to come up here and sort it all out.
At the moment I am by the hall radiator and SHE has put the heating on for me. I think it is the least I deserve! By the way, my little shock mudguard worked well today. She is now off for a shower and is grumbling that her Lowe T shirt will have to be washed before it hits the machine as it is soo muddy. You would have laughed to see her legs when she took the socks off - there was a huge tide mark where the mud had washed down her legs to the ankles and was then caught by the socks.
If I need to fill in any forms then let me know.
Click the image for a larger version.